With a still shaky economy and loads of student loan debt, more and more college grads are moving back home after college. While on the surface this may appear like an easy transition, there are actually many potential issues you could face. Before moving back home, or at least within the first few days of doing so, be sure to address the following three issues.
Without talking to your parents or your parents talking to you about what each party expects from the other is opening the door to an argument. While you are an adult, you have to realize that you are living in your parent’s house, so just because you left your dorm room a walking disaster doesn’t mean you can do the same with your bedroom.
Also be sure to discuss rent. Are your parents charging you to live there? Maybe help with bills? Do chores in exchange for free rent? Make certain you are both on the same page so that you aren’t surprised when they ask you for money for groceries.
One final expectation is discussing how long you plan to live at home. Your parents could be like mine and want you to stay indefinitely, but there is a time to go. Be sure to talk about this as well because your parents might want you out of the house sooner rather than later. Without talking about this, you could wake up one day to your parents having a talk with you about moving out and you aren’t financially prepared.
Set Ground Rules
This ties in with setting expectations. Again, you are an adult but living under their roof. When I moved back home, I was used to staying out as late as I wanted and not thinking twice. This did not sit well with my parents. I clearly remember coming home one night (OK morning) to my mother walking out of the house for work. I got an earful when she came back home that evening.
On the flip side, you need boundaries as well. Your parents shouldn’t be able to walk into your room as thy please without asking you first. Be sure to set up some rules and make certain that both parties understand them.
This is an often-overlooked potential issue. When you moved out, you were a 18 year old college freshmen. Now you are an early-20’s adult. In your parent’s eyes, you are still their little baby. Be patient with them as they adjust to losing their baby to adulthood. It’s not easy for many parents.
Likewise, you have to realize that you are now an adult, a self-sufficient adult, even though you are living with your parents. You shouldn’t be asking them for money or letting them pay your bills for you. You are both going to need to adjust. Reading this on paper it might seem like it is an easy thing to do, but it is not. Trust me. I’ve had some fights with my parents as we struggled to understand where each one was coming from. By taking a step back and trying to see the situation from their eyes, you can gain a better understanding of why a certain issue is an issue at all. Don’t just yell and scream, understand, learn and grow.
As you can see, there are some big issues you can encounter when moving back home with your parents. But by taking a few hours to discuss things, you both will be better off and the changes of arguments and fights will be diminished.
Readers, what other potential issues to do see when moving back home?