3 Possible Issues When Moving Back Home After College

With a still shaky economy and loads of student loan debt, more and more college grads are moving back home after college. While on the surface this may appear like an easy transition, there are actually many potential issues you could face. Before moving back home, or at least within the first few days of doing so, be sure to address the following three issues.

moving home after college

Set Expectations

Without talking to your parents or your parents talking to you about what each party expects from the other is opening the door to an argument. While you are an adult, you have to realize that you are living in your parent’s house, so just because you left your dorm room a walking disaster doesn’t mean you can do the same with your bedroom.

Also be sure to discuss rent. Are your parents charging you to live there? Maybe help with bills? Do chores in exchange for free rent? Make certain you are both on the same page so that you aren’t surprised when they ask you for money for groceries.
One final expectation is discussing how long you plan to live at home. Your parents could be like mine and want you to stay indefinitely, but there is a time to go. Be sure to talk about this as well because your parents might want you out of the house sooner rather than later. Without talking about this, you could wake up one day to your parents having a talk with you about moving out and you aren’t financially prepared.

Set Ground Rules

This ties in with setting expectations. Again, you are an adult but living under their roof. When I moved back home, I was used to staying out as late as I wanted and not thinking twice. This did not sit well with my parents. I clearly remember coming home one night (OK morning) to my mother walking out of the house for work. I got an earful when she came back home that evening.
On the flip side, you need boundaries as well. Your parents shouldn’t be able to walk into your room as thy please without asking you first. Be sure to set up some rules and make certain that both parties understand them.

Be Patient

This is an often-overlooked potential issue. When you moved out, you were a 18 year old college freshmen. Now you are an early-20’s adult. In your parent’s eyes, you are still their little baby. Be patient with them as they adjust to losing their baby to adulthood. It’s not easy for many parents.

Likewise, you have to realize that you are now an adult, a self-sufficient adult, even though you are living with your parents. You shouldn’t be asking them for money or letting them pay your bills for you. You are both going to need to adjust. Reading this on paper it might seem like it is an easy thing to do, but it is not. Trust me. I’ve had some fights with my parents as we struggled to understand where each one was coming from. By taking a step back and trying to see the situation from their eyes, you can gain a better understanding of why a certain issue is an issue at all. Don’t just yell and scream, understand, learn and grow.

Final Thoughts

As you can see, there are some big issues you can encounter when moving back home with your parents. But by taking a few hours to discuss things, you both will be better off and the changes of arguments and fights will be diminished.

Readers, what other potential issues to do see when moving back home?

5 Responses to 3 Possible Issues When Moving Back Home After College

  1. I never had any issues moving back home after college, but then again, I barely ever moved out during college. I went to a school an hour away and was home at least once a month, plus all breaks. I even did my 5th year as a commuter from my parent’s house.

    What you said about expectations is key. Where I’m found, there is the expectation that you will move back home after college, usually until marriage. In fact, of my group of friends, every one of us was back in New Egypt after graduation for at least one year, and only one moved out before cohabitation with a significant other.

  2. I think the key is to be considerate. If you move back in after college it can be easy to fall back into your same role at home, even though you are most likely a much more mature individual know. Realize that your parents are sacrificing to allow you to move back in and be conscious of that at all times.

  3. I think being considerate by making sure that even if you’re staying at your parents’ home you won’t be a burden to them, because you should already be self-sufficient. If you have the means to give your share in the bills that they need to pay, do it, because it will make you feel better and more independent–it will also lessen the strain on their finances.

  4. I moved back in with my parents only once after turning eighteen: the summer after my freshman year. Worst summer ever. I came back after living independently for one year to an extremely controlled environment. I couldn’t go anywhere, had a curfew, couldn’t hang out with anybody and I was at the mercy of what my parents wanted me to do.

    Never moved back.

  5. One of my brothers and my oldest sister both moved back home after college, and there wasn’t any problems. My sister will sometimes help buy groceries, or maybe help pay for a school trip that cost a lot to help pay her way. I guess the biggest thing is to make sure you contribute and not just mooch.

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